The Incident
by FrDougal9000
Summary: Why do the villagers always want to kill Crash, despite the fact he's always trying to save the world? Well, here's one possibility of what happened. One-shot of utter silliness. Enjoy!


Being inhabited by the spirit of an ancient, much revered shaman, the mask known as Aku Aku always made sure to help out the people of his tribal village, who revered this floating, talking mask as a deity of sorts, in any way possible; spiritual advice, training future shamans, giving back massages that often causes more pain due to the fact that he's just a flat mask and any other kind of help he can give. In his great generosity, he also chose to help out anyone who happened to be on N. Sanity island that needed some sort of assistance. So naturally, when an orange anthropomorphic bandicoot washed up on the shores of the jungle island and went off on a quest to stop a mad scientist and save his beloved, the tribal mask could not help but dedicate himself to this noble quest, sticking with the bandicoot through thick and thin like flies to piles of manure.

Currently, the unusual duo were traversing through more lush jungles, surviving yet another onslaught of boulders, Venus fly traps, collapsing platforms and all manner of nonsense that would've probably snuffed out the bandicoot long ago if it wasn't for the mask's mystical protection. The orange marsupial was so focused on his task of saving his girlfriend, or more to the point, he was so focused on what was going to happen afterwards that he didn't notice a large wooden wall until he walked right into it. Clutching his nose in pain, the bandicoot staggered back in pain, mumbling irritably, until Aku Aku floated up to Crash and spoke in a somewhat fatherly voice _"Crash, do not worry. This is simply a barrier that protects something very special from all kinds of danger. Follow me, for I know a secret way through this barrier."_

The mask then floated by the side of the wooden barrier, stretching at least fifty feet high, quickly followed by an annoyed Crash. Aku Aku eventually reached a small spot in the wall that looked surprisingly like a wooden dog flap and passed through it, to a an extent. He held up the end of the flap with the top of his mask and turned around to find Crash staring at him with a tilted head and a raised eyebrow. The mask slightly shook his head as he said _"This is a secret passageway through the wall; I know it is not the…best way to get through. But in these circumstances, it will have to do. Get in." _Groaning in irritation, the shirtless mammal grabbed the sides of the hole and pushed forward, grunting quite a bit from the difficulty of it as he finally squeezed himself through, falling into the bushes face first.

Picking himself up from the ground, the bandicoot felt colder, which was rather odd given that the mid-summer sun was still shining warmly over the island. Feeling a strange draft around his legs, Crash looked down and found that his long denim jeans had vanished, leaving only white boxers with pink hearts all over covering his unmentionables. As his eyes widened out to the size of dinner plates and his face turned a very bright shade of red, Aku Aku noticed the issue and calmly answered _"Your strange blue garment must have fallen off while you were squeezing yourself through that hole. Don't worry, we shall find something to replace it here." _before floating away from the bandicoot, who quickly followed behind with a quizzical expression on his face.

Soon, the floating mask stopped behind another wooden structure and looked towards the confused marsupial, who had taken to leaning on a bush behind him. The former shaman said in a proud manner _"Behold, Crash. This…is my village." _The bandicoot tilted his head and saw several wooden huts and more to the point, many villagers living peacefully. Old men talking to young children about how everything was better back in their day, experienced tribesmen teaching new recruits how to ride a boar properly and even just people walking around and chatting calmly, Crash observed these sights as Aku Aku continued _"This is the village I have decided to protect for so long; to give advice, to assist others like I have you and more. This is one reason I wish to help you in your quest. These people deserve to live peacefully, not to suffer at the hands of Cortex."_

A stern, determined look formed on the tribal mask as he finished _"Do not worry about these people attacking you; follow me and you should be alright. But do not do anything that could cause trouble. Now, follow me." _before he began taking off towards the centre of the village. Crash moved away from the bush he was leaning from and took a few steps forward when he heard a tremendous tearing noise. Aku Aku, as well as the entire village, picked up on this very loud noise and flew back over to Crash, finding that the white boxers were attached to a thorny bush, leaving the bandicoot completely, utterly and totally _naked._

What's even worse is that thinking about his girlfriend's reward for saving her had left a very…interesting effect on Crash's unmentionables that left him scurrying around for something to hide them while Aku Aku stared on in bamboozlement. As the villagers began walking over to where they heard that odd, loud noise, the orange hero found himself without anything useful to cover up his little bandicoots. That was, until he saw Aku Aku looking at him in disbelief, at which point, a brilliant idea came to his head. Pulling a thread from the ruined boxers, he grabbed the tribal mask and quickly got to work.

The tribesmen, women and children, led by their great chief Papu Papu, reached the source of that tremendous tearing and found a humanlike bandicoot standing proudly, albeit somewhat nervously, with his hands on his hips with only a familiar looking red plank of wood with some feathers of the top covering his privates, held up by a very small thread. The villagers all stared at this sight in bewilderment as Crash smiled very nervously, moving to the left to hide himself behind one of the many huts. Unfortunately, the thread came apart and the mask fell onto the floor for all to see that Aku Aku was gazing up towards the sky with an utterly mortified look on his face. The tribesmen glared at the orange marsupial covering his tender area with his hands in pure, unfettered rage before they began throwing their spears at him.

Crash jumped forward and rolled on the ground, dodging the first bombardment of spears, as he picked up the tribal mask of protection and ran for his life, chased by several villagers, all wielding spears and screaming unintelligible nonsense at the bandicoot. As Aku Aku found himself held under Crash's arm, he shuddered in shock out of what just happened. If he ever got out of this mess, he would still help out anyone that needed his assistance. But if they happened to be orange bandicoots, they would be on their own.

_Message from the Author - 7/August/2013_

_(You know, I figured it was about time I wrote up a fanfic on one of my favourite nostalgic franchises, Crash Bandicoot! I've been on a bit of a Crash binge for the last week or so and an idea of a one-shot fanfic came to mind. It's been years since I played the first game so some of what I said is bound to totally wrong as far as canon is concerned but I still figured it'd be a pretty interesting story to tell._

_I'd always wondered why the tribesmen had a thing against Crash and after much canon welding, I'd come up with the idea that it was an embarrassing incident related to Aku Aku given that a mask inhabited by the spirit of a shaman would probably be revered as a deity of sorts by the tribesmen. As for this one-shot, please tell me your thoughts, what improvements I can make to my writing style, etc. I hope you enjoyed reading this little Crash Bandicoot one-shot! Until we meet again, have a great day y'all! - FrDougal9000)_


End file.
